A Little Pest Control

November 28, 2022
A funny black and white cartoon of Bryan with a really big hammer. Drawn by cartoonist Bryan Skinnell.

You know how good saints (and those pretending to be one) are supposed to invite their neighbors and friends to come to church? Well tonight I broke from Baptist tradition and did an utterly unthinkable deed where I actually kicked someone right out of my church! It’s true!!! But, in my humble defense, what I did was really a public service and should be viewed as such. And besides it was plain to see that this rascal had no business being there in the first place. So can I really be blamed for the Holy Spirit coming upon me and inspiring me to show him the door? I should think not. Wednesday evening services in a small country church are dull and stuffy affairs and have been for time immemorial. Wednesday evenings inside a Baptist church would surely convince anyone that not only is purgatory real but it even has an address and four walls. Hardly anything ever happens midweek inside a Baptist church…. at least until tonight!

I wasn’t looking for any trouble but there set trouble himself right in the middle of the aisle for all to see and trotting around liked he owned the place. Ohhh…. maybe now is as good a time as any to tell you he was a cricket? A big healthy one too. But don’t carry on about that little detail because him being a cricket is only a minor point and worth forgettin’ because it’s the rest of this tale you would probably rather hear anyway. Like all crickets he was a quick and wily fellow to nab and I sure wanted to catch him before he got himself some religion. Heck, I almost had to go pentacostal on that little fella he was so determined (to the delight of the preacher and fellow members) as he stayed one jump ahead of me. I could hear them all snickering at my trying to get him and I was about to worry they were all going to start rooting for the cricket. But after a minute I finally managed to scoop that little hell raising hopper into my hands without making an icky squishy mess on the carpet from which I then flung him out in the cold night where he cussed me all the way.

Now that that little fiasco is finished I should really do something about those pesky house flies buzzing around. Surely the business committee would trust me with a fly swatter.

Why hello there! My name is Bryan Skinnell and I am a middle-aged (50-ish) artist and neighborhood kook who is living the artistic and creative life out in the boonies of Bedford, Virginia. Bedford is one of the largest counties in the commonwealth of Virginia and, for the most part, it’s still a mostly rural one that bridges the gap between Roanoke and Lynchburg. You could say, in more ways than one, that Bedford is the heart of Virginia. I can’t argue with that although I usually think of Bedford more as Virginia’s belly button myself.

I grew up right here in Bedford and have lived and toiled most of my life on our infamous red clay. The sort of clay that makes the stickiest mud known to man after a rain and which clings like super glue from God to anything and everything it touches. If you are so foolish as to get it on yourself you’ll wind up tracking and leaving a trail of red goop everywhere you go for days afterwards to the delight of your family and friends. But I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else and Lord knows I tried as I’ve wandered from one end of the country to the other. But Bedford has my heart and that’s where I’ve chosen to live my life today. In my free time when I’m not stuck in my studio making art I do love being outside gardening or hiking or just pestering the neighbors.

Every day I try to write something that’s original, entertaining, and half-way thoughtful here on my blog while sharing my happy-go-lucky attitude and zest for life. Quite often I don’t have the foggiest notion of what I’ll end up saying in a post. But, whatever I end up writing about, I do hope you enjoy it!

I do keep a mailing list for interested readers and fans. If you would like to get in on the action and follow my musings and rabble-babble, that can be easily arranged. Just give me an email address that you would like for me to send my blog posts to and I’ll see that you get it.

Thanks for stopping by!
Bryan Skinnell

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