It seems that the world is more turbulent and topsy-turvy than ever these days. And there’s loads of people to blame for it. But then (perish the thought) it could perhaps just be me getting older and crankier. I can understand and admit to the getting older part but I didn’t think it would actually happen to me until I got… you know… older. And now here I am, a guy who is officially the big 5-0 and still feeling like the kid I’ve always been, which makes feeling fifty all the more surreal. Even in my old age I’m still finding this kooky world of ours to be as baffling and irksome as ever. I keep hoping it gets better but the human race seems bound and determined to pee on my optimism.
I suppose the world has always been a stressful and angst-ridden arena inhabited and run by clowns. Clowns that you hope are friendly, considerate and generous. Thankfully many of them are. But even the friendly and considerate ones are still clowns running loose on the funny farm of life and getting into mischief which, as everyone knows, is a clown’s favorite activity. As a youngin the silliness of human nature doesn’t really phase you because you’re still pretty silly yourself. But as you get older and the clowns multiply in numbers, that playful and endearing mischief just leads to problems for all the rest of us who prefer not being clowns. And then you come to discover that there’s a great many clowns who aren’t friendly and would just rather be mean and despicable instead. They couldn’t be funny if you gave them a script and a microphone. Idiots and doofuses trying to be clowns (or clowns trying to be idiots and doofuses) just makes for an unpleasant world for everybody. A world that will eat your soul for breakfast and burp it back out before lunch, leaving you to be trampled into the dust by everyone else. As a fifty year old dude stuck in the quagmire that the 2020’s will surely be remembered for, that’s the state of the world as I see it. Uggg, I really must be getting cynical in my old age. My mom said it was going to happen and once again I discover she was right. Darn her.
But I don’t want to be cynical!! She can be cynical if she wants to be but I surely don’t. Thank goodness there’s art for I’d be in a world of hurt without it. Art might not be the magic elixir that fixes the ills of the world but it sure goes far in making the world a more liveable and civil domain. At the very least it provides me a great deal of pleasure and some measure of purpose as I bumble about my day. I suppose we all have our vices. For me the simple act of drawing is something I’ve found to be a superb way of taking my mind off the silliness of the times while captivating me with the daily stories of people and places that’s happening all around me. Which often proves to be a better subject to hold my attention and maintain my happiness than the dross of my own life. I’m an art bum after all. And I have plenty of dross to purge from my own banal existence. Don’t we all?!!
There is magic to be made in drawing. That’s a fact. I know this for I have personally experienced it and I’ve been neglecting it. For shame Bryan!!! Get it in gear my boy!!! I was drawing and sketching so faithfully for a spell only to let myself get all hoodwinked into banging out more writing that may, or may not, have been hitting on all cylinders. So naturally my daily drawing pad got tossed by the wayside while I tried punching out plum prose on the only faithful friend and partner I have, my trusty little laptop. Such a pity as I’m much more comfortable drawing and painting than I am trying to goose my writing muse to saying something remarkable. Or, at the very least, something that innocent bystanders can actually stand to spend a few minutes reading. Living the creative life will take you down all sorts of odd and challenging paths as any artist and creative curmudgeon will readily confess. There’s no denying it’s loads of fun but golly can it be distracting and even depressing as you burn away trainloads of energy and hours of stamina on some creative experiment that doesn’t seem to deliver anything tangible.
Or does it?! Who can tell?! Who’s to say?!!
That’s the vexing thing about blogging and writing because it has been the 800 pound gorilla in my mind who has lost his banana and refused to rest until he found it. All I can do as a writer is to keep throwing him bananas until he’s pacified and goes to sleep. Writing has been my own 800 pound banana-munching ape whom I am getting to know a little better now. And I think my banana buddy is getting to know me too and wants to share his erstwhile opinions on all manner of subjects. It’s a curious partnership but that’s a writer’s muse for you. Writing is art. Thru writing I strive to paint with words and harness the power of words to communicate something unique and profound. It’s a worthy endeavor I think if you can ever get the hang of it and one that has taken me far longer to master than I ever dreamed it would. But that’s to be expected since anything that is worthwhile to master will take a lot of energy, time, and dedication to acquire. Writing has been that 800 pound distraction for me as I’ve labored long and hard at finding my voice and my schtick while neglecting making art. That’s an incongruity I aim to fix. Writing and art can play well together and I like to think I’ve got enough bandwidth in my brain to juggle both successfully. Drawing and art is natural and comfortable for me. Writing…. not so much. But at least I’m getting better at it.
Anyway, enough talk about me and my devils. It’s a new week with new adventures awaiting us. I know I’m looking forward to seeing what’s in store for me and I hope good things are in store for you too! There’s bound to be some turbulence for sure, there often is these days. But turbulence is going to happen as much as we wish it didn’t, whether it comes courtesy of the world or from the depths of our own soul. But so far as I’m concerned, as long as I’ve got a pencil in my hand and my sketch journal on my lap, all will be well. They have never let me down yet. Here’s hoping you find your own little Avalon in these crazy days we find ourselves in, whatever it may be.
