Well by gum, it’s a new year isn’t it?
Why hello 2023 it is so good to see you. And just what do you have in store for me this year if I may ask? I hope this isn’t going to be the year that kills me. Because that would surely stink. Kook artist dead at 50 years old. And just how did he die anyway is what folks are surely gonna be asking. Who in tarnation knows??? For all I know he poked himself in the eyeball while trying to use chopsticks and the sodium glutamate jolt was just too much for him. Poor guy. Hey, if you’re gonna die early might as well make it a headline story I say!
But I don’t think I’m gonna die. And neither does AARP. Why the good folks at AARP, God bless ’em, have been letting me know that they’ve been thinking of me by sending me mail and flyers about their perks, services, and of course a prized invite for me to sign up and throw some money their way since somebody (don’t know who) squeealed to them that I’m turning 50 years old this month. Boy, if the rest of the world can follow their lead and show the neighborly love half as well as those AARP folks do we would finally achieve paradise on Earth! But, dang it, we have failed miserably in achieving paradise in the 2020’s. About the best we’ve been able to do is load our chow with sodium glutamate and other weird chemicals while flooding our mailboxes with junk mail with offers of help for people on the verge of a mid-life crisis made all the worse by low testosterone levels and too much sodium. And only too happy to push you over the edge it seems.
Hello 2023. It’s so good to see you. Maybe I’ll just go back to bed and wait for 2024.