Board meetings aren’t for me.
Call me a heretic but I am totally convinced that the Devil created board meetings just to antagonize and pester our poor souls as much as he can get away with. It must be true because I’m past deadline and I need to write something and that’s the first thing I thought of. So I’m gonna run with it. Might as well because I’ve got a thing or two to say about board meetings anyway. Here lately I’ve had to sit through a couple of them which is what inspired my latest epiphany about board meetings; they leave me bored to tears every single time I have to suffer through one.
It’s bad enough that I have to be made to come to board meetings but it’s doubly humiliating to have to be tied down and gagged just so the meeting can proceed smoothly without my input and interruptions. I don’t appreciate it either as I have lots to say about lots of stuff. Can I be blamed if I think it should be national law that all board meetings must compensate their participating members with all the hotdogs, chili and fixings they can eat, all the root beer they can drink and a hundred dollar check for our time? I think that’s perfectly reasonable. I know if I were munching on a good hotdog with some tasty root beer to wash it down I’d sure be more motivated and a fount of ideas.
But let the record show that the rest of the ingrates aren’t in favor of my progressive and radical ways. So I’m forced to bring my own hotdogs and root beer to protest their stubbornness which I will continue to do until they relent. The other board members must have had just about enough of my antics and that’s why I’m tied me up, gagged and locked in the closet while writing this. And I’m sure they’re all enjoying my hot dogs too, the hungry buzzards. But it could be worse. Next time I’m bringing chitlins!! That’ll serve them right.
