Egads… I’m just a simple, hayseed artist. I’m not a hustler!! And yet here I am burning my days hustling for business from anyone who takes pity on my poor, pathetic soul. The fact that I’m even hustling at all must surely rank as one of the great mysteries of the universe as I haven’t the slightest hankering (or the talents and good looks) to go out and hustle for my daily bread. If I really wanted to hustle I would’ve and should’ve gone into professional sports instead. But I didn’t because my athletic skills is just about on par with my talents at hustling. Now let me say here and now that I’m not a total dweeb in sports because I really am a world class bench warmer. I can warm that hard, cold plank right up with my hot little heiny. But that’s about all I’m good for. As important as warm benches are in keeping up team morale my talents and destiny lie elsewhere. Like chasing and harrassing the cheerleaders! Why fawn over a hunky and moronic quarter-back wnen you can schmooze with an honest-to-goodness artist? Us artsy bohemian types like me are plum adorable too. Hot heiny and all!
But these days there ain’t a cheerleader in sight to chase and I’m out hustling away in this cruel world. The word must have gotten out that I’m hitting the streets and all the cheerleaders have gone into hiding. I swear I’m going to find the tattle-tale! With no cheerleaders around it’s been a rough and tumble week but I’m still alive and ready for round two. So what kind of week have I had? Glad you asked and I’m delighted to spill the beans. One thing I’ve learned (or maybe re-learned)this week is that I actually can hustle! Who knew?! It was a glorious epiphany and a needed reminder that we are all capable of more than we might think. And that there’s no telling what we might could do if you want to do it badly enough. And I’m doing it for me and by gum, it feels marvelous!
Let me confess if you already haven’t figured it out that I’m no great hustling guru and am hardly the person to speak to anyone on how to do it. No question, I’ll never be a hustling whiz but I’m coming around to believing that anyone can learn how to hustle with some competency and it’s a good skill to know. It doesn’t take much to hustle successfully beyond some healthy confidence in yourself and a little moxie to pull it off. Just take me for example. All I have is my trusty mobile phone and a smile. Thank God I’m living in the age of the internet and mobile service that equips you with phones so smart that they can do all my thinking for me. That techno-juice made it easy for me to hit up some local nursing homes about the possibility of my coming by and drawing their fine residents and spread a little cheer. And, hallelujah, a few of them took me up on it and I got some business. Getting some business is guaranteed to put anyone in a good mood. Even without the benefit of cheerleaders! Maybe it wasn’t such a rough and bloody week after all.
I’m still not entirely comfortable hustling and, no question, I’ve got plenty to learn about the art of hustling to really make it worth my while. But I’m happy learning the ropes if I can keep from making a social pariah of myself. And, if nothing else, it’ll give me plenty of fodder for funny stories to write about and share on my blog. Stories of an obscure artist who is making a name for himself by making old people who are a few crayons short of a box look better than they ever dreamed they could. And that warms the heart of this loveable ol’ lug as I hit the streets hustling away while spreading good art and cheer. I think that’s got the makings of a Hollywood blockbuster! I hope they get Chris Hemsworth to play me.
As with any art form I think one eventually finds their particular style and approach to hustling effectively. It just comes down to people skills and getting yourself interested in people, whether you want to be interested in them or not. Even if you’re not that interested at the start (like me) odds are you’ll come around to getting more enthused as you dicker and deal with potential patrons and clients. It just happens because most people out there really are good folks and appreciate you giving them a little time and attention. So it often happens they want to reciprocate if they happen to take a shine on you. Or just tire of your antics and throw you back out. Which is another lesson of hustling. Some people just don’t know a good thing when it stops by!
